Relationships is a very wide topic, I just want to share with you what I think about it, knowing that when I finish there will still be more to be said. It is a topic that arouses the curiosity of young people because they have a particular/ restricted idea about it. We will see that Friendship and relationship between boys and girls is very wide and rich.

To relate with somebody is a very basic human need. Since we are all human, young and old alike we find ourselves making friends with whom we can relate and share joys, problems, interests. We are social beings and as such we need others to socialize and it has been like this since the beginning of human race. In fact we read in Genesis, “God said: it is not good that man should be alone. I will make a helpmate for him” (Gen.2:18) so it is very normal for a young man or a young woman to desire to have and keep friends. But now I would like to ask you a question: Do you know who a friend is?

A friend is:

You will recognize a friend in moments of need because, a friend is expected to show trust, loyalty, generosity, and concern for the other. When a person is ready to help you in spite of losing time or losing goods or may be precious opportunities in order to assist you or to be near you and to help you without taking any advantage for her/himself, that is a real friend.

This kind of friendship gives to the person a lot of moral support and a sense of belonging which each human being needs very much. When we hear or read something about relationship and friendship between boys and girls, we become curious and we want to know more and more. It is a topic of special interests to young people like you.

Many young people ask: How can I make the right choice of a boy or girl friend since they are so many at my disposal? To get the right friend, boy/girl, you have to be the right friend. It is important to cultivate the qualities of a good character within yourself before you look out for these qualities in another person. So it is necessary and important:

  • To know yourselves, your weaknesses and strengths and then to work on those weaknesses and to strengthen your good points.
  • Keep always in mind the best way to have a friend is to be one, because there are ‘friends’ who lead others to ruin.

Also very important is to remember that friendship is something that you build together gradually as you grow in the knowledge of one another. To go too fast, sometimes might cause a wrong choice; you need to know and to learn how to live a life of friendship with the friends of the opposite sex.

Friendship between boys and girls is not something that you can buy at the market, but something that you build up little starting with very small things, gentleness, friendly gestures, effort to understand others and sharing together. Jesus called his disciples friends and he shows us what friendship means when he says: “A man can have no greater love than to lay down his life for his friends” (Jn 15:13)

So, friendship in Jesus’ mind and teaching means acting for the good of the friend. We too can be his friends if we do what he commands us (Jn 15:14) this is the ideal type of friendship and relationship that we have to aim at. Unfortunately we know that often, instead of looking to build up a good relationship and friendship, boys and girls think too much about sex. Friendship and relationship means for them that boys can have girls and girls can have boys to enjoy themselves.

And they could also say:

Sr Catherine Wanza, Fsp

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