Marriage

Beautiful white dress with a long train and veil, Black Tuxedo, wedding bells, huge 5 tier wedding cake… this is how our weddings are like these days. So having decided that I would like to share my life with this particular person, the big day is lavishly planned for. Most times though the main focus is being put on the engagement ceremony, or wedding day rather than marriage life itself.

Life after wedding day should be given more importance, so that the couple understands that it is a lifetime commitment and not just a ‘contract’ which can be terminated anytime one feels like it.

Those moments of growth and getting to know each other were actually preparing the couple for this particular life, a life where two become one by the bond of marriage while remaining two unique human beings. Each contributes from the abundance of his/her gifts, talents and skills for the growth and development of each other and the family which they will raise together.

The transition of thinking from my needs to our needs requires a great deal of commitment, trust, love, and patience from each partner’s part. The couple are to work as a team, put ideas together in managing finances, relations with other people, household chores, duties and needs, planning for their future children, balancing between work and family life.  Boundaries are quite important to be set in order to safeguard the sacredness of marriage.

Often times, if I was not faithful, during courtship, to this one person I was intending on sharing my life with then it will be even more difficult to remain faithful during marriage. Others complain of the monotony of seeing the same face day in day out, how nagging my partner is, how there is lack of understanding between us ever since we got married, how restrictive s/he became after marriage, and many others reasons. At times the reasons might be true but having extra marital affairs is merely a justification and not a solution. Each human being is capable of listening and understanding what the other is communicating. I should not lose sight of the fact that we have been united majorly by love and it is easier to understand and be understood. Expectations at times can cloud my judgement but rather acceptance of who I am and my husband/wife should take precedence. We begin our journey as we are, beautifully unique individuals brought together by love to begin a journey of life as Husband and Wife.

Debbie’s Tips

Marriage is a lifelong adventure and while at it I will make plenty of discoveries about my spouse and myself, and so I will;

  • Keep in mind that my commitment has been made to this one person with whom I will spend the rest of my life with.
  • Begin this new journey without being pressured nor because s/he is the next best thing that I have come across.
  • Keep in mind that the engagement and wedding days are merely a preparation to the goal which is marriage.
  • Remember that we both continue to grow together through trust, communication, patience, understanding, discovery of ever better ways on how we resolve disagreements and share different life experiences.
  • Support my husband/wife in fulfilling his/her dreams through encouragement, moral support and believing in his/her potential.
  • Always remember that my spouse becomes the first person to turn to in everything.
  • Treasure moments of sharing the day’s events which help us to walk together on this journey of life.
  • Share temptations and challenges which I might be going through because s/he is my basic support in life.
  • Set boundaries in my relationships with other people especially of the opposite sex so as not to fall into the temptation of having extra marital affairs.
  • Keep in mind that I cannot change someone but can change my perspective of him/her and treasure more the things I like than those that make me uncomfortable.
  • Keep handy those beautiful moments of love which we have shared and we can easily go back to especially during moments when the going gets tough.
  • Do my best to work as a team in going through life with all that it brings along the way.

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